It's Raining Again
by unicornsandrainbowsparklez
Summary: Dean Winchester meets Castiel Novak in the hospital room. Dean Winchester/Castiel [One Shot] (Rated T for slight swearing.)


A/N: Hello everyone, another Destiel fanfiction from me today. Hope you enjoy it and don't forget to leave your thoughts in reviews. Thank you for reading and have a great day

I had always hated the hospital.

I didn't like the sterile scent and the pure whiteness of everything and I didn't like the nurses. I mean, yeah the hot ones sure but nurses always pissed me off. They gave false hope and say 'everything while be fine honey' and then they'll go back to their houses and live their lives until they are old while patients die regularly.

I noticed a bed opposite me, this was weird. Why didn't I notice it before? Oh right, I was sleeping from that stupid concussion from that fall.

The bed was empty but it looked like someone slept on it from the crumpled blanket and barely eaten meal on the bedside but besides that nothing. No flowers, nothing. Even I had flowers; I guess Sammy must have put them there. I laughed at the irony, I was the older brother supposed to be taking care of Sam but instead I was in the hospital.

"Alright there you go back in your room."

My eyes went to the figure that was getting wheel chaired into the room. Dark brown hair and was sporting a loose sweater with loose pants. He looked healthy and he sat back on his bed noticing that I was awake and gave him a small smile and I noticed his eyes. Damn his eyes. Blue like the ocean I had thought at first but no, like the sky, it looked like the sky of a clear summer's day. The bluest blue that could ever have blued, I laughed to myself.

"Cas, you have a new roommate, all the other rooms were full so have fun boys." She said before ruffling his hair and walked away.

"Cas? That's your name?"

"It's Castiel but people call me Cas for short." He said with a smile.

"I'm Dean, Dean Winchester."

"I know." He said pulling up the blanket.

We were facing each other now, beds at an angle so that we could see each other.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Your brother came to visit. We talked for a while. You have a concussion am I right?"

"Yeah, what's your problem then?"

He didn't answer but gave me a smile and took out a book to read, "Do you want a book?" He asked me but I laughed.

"No, I've never been one for reading; I like being read to though." I said, Cas looked up from his book.

"You want me to read to you?"

I laughed. "No, I'm just saying that it would be nice if you would read out loud."

And so he did.

I didn't know what book he was reading but I didn't really care. I was lost in his voice like a lot of people were I supposed because soon there was a few people listening in outside the room. He was a good reader; he read fluently pausing at the right time and his voice clear as day.

Soon he stopped and closed the book when a nurse brought in two trays of food and left, I saw him make a face before poking around, taking a bite of a few things and pushing it to the side.

"If you don't eat you're not going to get any better you know?"

He didn't say anything for a while and gave me a smile, "I don't like hospital food."

"Who does? Why don't you ask your family to bring you some?"

He paused, pushing his food to the side and looked at me. I wasn't sure if I had said anything wrong because he was so quiet.

"My family doesn't visit."

"Never?"

"No, I lost contact with them years ago."

I looked at him closely, "You're a terrible liar Cas you know that?"

He chuckled and covered himself with the white blanket again, "Yeah I know."

"So why don't they visit you Cas?"

He shook his head, "Perhaps I'll tell you another time but I'm getting tired. See you tomorrow Dean."

"Alright Cassie."

"Don't call me that."

"Alright Castiel. Good light."

"Good night Dean."

"So you come here every morning?"

I looked over at Cas who was in his wheel chair. We were walking together down a stone pathway along the pond and garden that the hospital had. I didn't even know this hospital had it until today but Cas seemed happy that I would be coming along with him.

He had always seemed to be smiling, I wondered what was wrong with him- he seemed healthy except for the fact that he couldn't walk but he never told me. He didn't go to bed that night. We stayed up talking about what I didn't know. It was mindless chatter about what music he liked, what he did as a living and pointless things. We never talked about family though or his family and soon I asked him to read for me again and which he did.

I feel asleep soon after that.

"Stop by the bench."

I rolled him onto the grass and I sat on the bench overlooking the rest of the garden. It was a beautiful sight- the air still misty from the morning and birds chirping. I never stopped to appreciate the nature I supposed, I liked to rush things but being in the hospital it gave me a few days to stop and calm down. I looked over at Cas and suddenly he seemed to be at peace. I had noticed that in the hospital, he always seemed down but outside his eyes gleamed with excitement even though we weren't doing anything.

We sat there in silence; we didn't say anything but sat there watching the sunrise slowly.

"I have SCA."

I turned around. "What?"

"Spinocerebellar Ataxia, it's a brain problem Dean. You asked me yesterday what I had."

"Yeah… But it's curable right?"

Cas didn't say anything but looked out at the sun that was slowly rising. "No Dean. There isn't a cure, I already can't walk, and soon I'll stop doing other things too. I won't be able to talk or move very much. You asked me what I had and so I'm answering you."

I didn't know what to say. He didn't look bothered by it, his face emotionless while the sunlight hit his face. He looked so happy, so healthy and soon he wouldn't be. I couldn't imagine him not being able to talk because last night it was all he did. He talked nonstop. I didn't know what to do, how I was supposed to feel after meeting this man only yesterday so I did the only thing that felt right in this situation.

I took his cold hands and placed them in mind and watched the sunrise.

We went back to the room after a while, when it had started to drizzle slightly. I asked him to read.

"Okay."

I left the hospital the next day and didn't return for a week. What was I supposed to do? Did I even care about him? But soon I decided yes I did and I missed the sound of his voice reading to me, I found it harder to sleep at night. I didn't notice but I missed his scent. It was weird, the hospital was so sterile and smelt like disinfectant but in that room it smelt different. My apartment smelt like alcohol and cigarettes but the room, it smelt like rain, flowers and freshly cut grass.

I missed it.

So I went back. I had brought food with me and a bouquet of flowers.

Why the hell was I so nervous?

I ignored the looks I got from everyone; I knocked on the door and heard a small voice say _come in._

I opened the door and met his eyes. He smiled, "Hello Dean."

"Hey Cas."

I walked over and handed him the food and flowers, "You should eat more, and you're getting thin."

He laughed and smelled the flowers, "Thank you Dean. What brings you here?"

I pulled up a chair and sat down, "What do you think?"

I could see a small blush creeping from his neck and he smiled, "Thanks Dean. Do you want me to read?"

I nodded and he started, it was the same book and he started where we left off. His voice was comforting to me and so I listened before I forced him to eat.

"Is there any treatment?" I asked watching him take a bite of some pasta dish I got him.

I finished his bite and wiped his lips, "Physical Therapy yes but I've stopped. It's only going to slow it down but not cure it."

"Why-"

Cas cut me off, "Dean, It's my decision. It's not going to stop it, plus, I don't like the therapy. I'd rather sleep or do something… I don't know."

"Do your parents know?"

Cas let out a small scoff. He shook his head. "My parents disowned me. I had told him that I abandoned god and the religion. They begged me to stay and to pray for my sickness to go away but it doesn't work. Praying doesn't work. God isn't the one that can cure you, it's the doctors and they said that I wouldn't ever be cure. So I left and they told me they wanted nothing to do with me so here I am now- dying alone, in a hospital bed. How lovely."

"Cas, you're not alone."

Cas looked at me. "Dean, we've met only a few days ago surely you don't want to waste your time with a sick dying person like me."

"Well you've already ruined me Cas. I can't sleep when you're not reading to me so there. It's too late Cas."

He let out a chuckle before pushing the finished food away and drank the water, he looked out of the window there weren't many stars out today all hidden by the mist.

I remembered him telling me he liked stars and that when he was a kid he thought they were angels- Angels that watched over people, angels that protect people.

"What is it Cas?"

"Dean. Thank you."

I saw him as often as I could from that day onwards. I felt like it was a duty to me, we went for walks in the garden and I would buy him flowers, books and food. He would flush red when I showed up with flowers.

I thought it was cute.

Then we would talk and read and talk and read.

But time passed and I could see him slowly deteriorate, he dropped things and slowly couldn't move his arms as much but it was noticeable if you observed; he would find it hard to pronounce some words. I could tell he was frustrated with his stutters and pauses.

I didn't say anything.

I went to visit that night, walking up the familiar stairs and through the pristine white walls. It was usually quiet until I heard screams. I was staying the night and just came up from the stairs when I saw a nurse cowering in fear outside Cas's room. She was crying and screaming for help and there were glass shards on the floor and the door shut. I ran forward, my heart thumping faster than it ever did before. I felt as if my heart was at my throat but I banged my fists on the door.

"CAS?!"

"GO AWAY! Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"CAS!"

He had locked the door, blocked it with a table. I slammed on the door with my hand, trying to get him to open the door but he didn't. I could hear him screaming and shouting though.

"Dean just go away! Just… J-Just go!"

I kicked the door open to see him in the corner of the room and ran towards him dodging the vase that came flying my way smashing into the wall. I held his hand and forced him to look at me, "Cas, what's wrong?"

"Dean I… I…"

I looked at his hands, nails bloody from crawling on the floor because he couldn't walk and his eyes almost deranged, bloodshot. He was shaking and tears marked their tracks on his face. Why were his hands always so cold? I didn't think about it but I hugged him, trying to protect him but I knew I couldn't. He couldn't be protected and no matter how hard I tried my efforts were no use. He fighting ghosts that couldn't be defeated.

"Dean I… I can't remember… I can't r-remember… a-anything… why c-can't I re-remember…" He sobbed, clinging onto my back. I had never seen him like this before and it broke my heart.

I held him, running my hand through his hair; I let him cry that night. I didn't say anything but I carried him to his bed but he hung on to me and so I stayed with him in that bed. It smelt like him like rain and freshly cut grass but the smell was fading just like he was even though he was very real in my arms. But he was so cold, he almost didn't feel real. He didn't let go and he didn't say anything. He just cried and then fell asleep.

"God, if you are real… work a miracle, don't let Castiel die… just… please let him live."

I stayed with him that whole week.

God didn't work his miracle.

"Hey …Dean."

I smiled and sat down on the end of his bed, "Hey there Cas. You're looking chirpy."

"I'm happy… t-today…" He stuttered, I smiled and ruffled his hair.

I like doing that.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked.

"You're… here… a-aren't you?"

I smiled and sat down. He couldn't do much now; he couldn't feed himself so I did it for him. I remembered when I arrived he was sitting there, looking out of the window. I asked him what was wrong and he said to me.

"Dean I'm breaking."

I almost cried but I laughed, "Cas, you're not broken. Remember? I'm the broken one? You ruined me remember?"

He laughed.

I fed him from then on but we practised writing. It was hard for him to hold a pencil without it slipping from his fingers but we were patient and we wrote till his couldn't anymore and he read to me until nightfall. I always made a habit of sleeping in that hospital room.

I didn't let go of his hand.

"What did you do today Cas?"

He shrugged, "N-Not… much…"

I propped open a book and cleared my throat. I had been reading to him since 2 days ago when he couldn't speak a sentence without stuttering or pausing. He told me he didn't want to read anymore so I read instead. He said he liked it.

Before I started I looked at him. "Want to go to the beach?"

He looked at me surprised, "Beach? W-Why…"

"For fun, thought you might like to go to get away from this place." I said with a wink. He nodded and smiled, "T-That would… be nice… I-I like the b… beach."

"Good. I'll ask your doctor."

I read to him that night until his breathing became soft snores. I put my ear to his chest, making sure his heart was still beating. It became a routine for me; I was so scared he would slip away in his sleep. I observed him again, like I do every night. He was paler now and had gotten thinner, it was harder for him to swallow food but he tried anyways. He always did. I brushed his hair from his face, he looked like an angel when he slept, so pure and innocent like his name, Castiel- angel of Thursday.

I leaned in and kissed his forehead like I did every night and sat by his bedside praying to whoever could help. I prayed and prayed for a cure or for it to at least slow down. I prayed for more time with him, to hear his voice and his laugh. I want him to be able to stand in the rain like he told he always did before.

He loved the rain.

But my prayers went unheard and everyday it seemed like he faded slowly.

I didn't want him to.

I read to him again that week. He stared at me the entire time, his blue eyes never wavering. I looked at him, "What's wrong Cas?"

His eyes squinted and I noticed his hands shaking slightly.

"Sorry… w-who a… are you?"

I paused, I felt as if my heart stop beating completely. I was choking, I was drowning, I was dying but in reality I wasn't. I was very much alive completely fine and breathing but why did it feel like I was suffocating?

"Cas… You're joking right?"

"N-No… W-Who are y… y… you…"

I closed the book and forced a smile, "Sorry… I uh, I have to go."

I ran out.

I didn't know where I ran or how long I ran for but I found myself in some alleyway. Panting and I felt like I was going to throw up my own heart, it was beating so fast but it hurt.

It was raining again.

I stood there in the rain for a while, letting it wash away everything I felt. I might have screamed or shouted, maybe even kicked some things but I couldn't remember or maybe I didn't want to. He couldn't remember me just like he couldn't remember what he ate this morning or what he was doing here. I didn't think he would ever forget me but maybe the memory would come back just like it always did. It was always temporary his memory loss but it got worse each day and soon, I thought, he won't remember who I was. I would be the stranger who read to him, the stranger who took him to the garden and the stranger who brought him flowers.

I walked back and looked at Cas, he had noticed me at the doorway and smiled, "Dean, why are you all drenched?"

I smiled. He remembered.

I walked over and sat down. The rain couldn't wash away anything but made me feel cold. I cried for the first time in front of Cas and hugged him so tight I thought I would break all his bones but I didn't. I was so cold from the rain but against Cas, his was colder and my body felt like fire while his felt like ice.

"Cas… You… You didn't remember me. You asked me who I was, you looked me in the eye and you couldn't remember me."

I felt him stiffen but slowly soothed my hair, he started to smell like the hospital- like disinfectant but the scent was still there. Barely.

"Dean… I-I'm s… sorry…"

"Why Cas? Why does it have to be you? I pray… I pray so fucking hard but nothing ever happens. You're slipping away from me every fucking day… every minute I feel you fading, you don't deserve this! I don't want you to go Cas, you've ruined me. You fucking ruined me and now you're going to leave me?!"

Cas didn't say anything. "Cas, you don't deserve this… Why can't you be cured? Why does it have you be you?"

That night I didn't read to him but I cried in his arms while he held me. He didn't say anything but neither did I. I just cried until next morning I woke with him smiling at me. The sun hitting him his face and makig his blue eyes seemed like it was glowing.

"Good… M-Morning… W-Who are y-you?"

I took a deep breath. "Morning Castiel. I'm Dean… I'm your friend."

He paused and then smiled, "D-Dean…" He remembered and looked at a book, "R-Read?"

"Okay."

"T-Thank you. D-Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I L-Love…"

He didn't finished what he was going to say but fell on his bed. I don't quite remember what happened but I shouted and then shook his body. His eyes almost rolled to the back of his head and he was shaking, why was he shaking and why the fuck was his body so cold? I was pushed out of the way on the floor and I watched as doctors and nurses rushed in.

There was a ringing sound in my ear so loud that my head ached badly. It was so painful but why didn't it stop? I wanted it to stop. I wanted to sleep and wake up and have him smile at me again but I had heard a time being called out, _6:30 am_.

It was when we would go out in the garden and sit at the bench and watch the sunrise. The nurses picked me up and brought me somewhere I didn't know. My head hurt, my eyes hurt and my body felt like it was burning but not in the hot way. It was cold like frostbite and that stupid ringing in my head wouldn't stop.

"Dean, are you okay?" Someone asked me, probably a nurse.

"No." I walked out to the garden and sat on the bench and watched the sunrise but there was something missing.

I wasn't holding his hand.

I stood by his grave and sat down. I chose a white stone because white was his favourite colour.

I took out a letter and fiddled with it in my hand before opening it. It was his messy writing, large and small letters like a child. The date said he wrote it a few days before his death.

_Hey Dean._

_Sorry for the messy writing. Hope you can read this. I think I'm going to die soon. I had a seizure when you left, I told the nurses not to tell you. This will be a long letter but I'll try my best, bear with me. _

_I was ready to accept death because I had no one. Dying is much easier when you have no one and because I had no one the thought of dying made me kind of happy. But you were there, when you came in my life I can't even remember but it's like one day you were just there and I felt like you've been here forever. I wish you were, maybe I would have fought for more time. I want to thank you for always visiting me and reading to me. I like your voice. _

_Dean, I'm scared. I'm scared that I wouldn't be able to remember you. I don't want to die without you in my memories because you are the most important person in my life. You helped me so much in ways that you don't even know and I can't even explain it. I'm not good at writing. I prefer reading. _

_I lied to you Dean. I told you that I never prayed but I did. I prayed to God and to all the angels. But I didn't pray for a cure, because I knew that was impossible. I prayed for more time. I really wanted to go to the beach. I like the ocean but now I don't think we can go after all. I'm sorry. _

_I have so much to say but I don't have the words. I just wish we have more time. I hope you read this Dean Winchester and hopefully I'll be an angel watching over you. I'll protect you as you have protected me, I'll save you like you've saved me. I promise. _

_One more thing I want to say. _

_I love you._

_Castiel. _

"I love you too."

It started to rain.

A/N: Hello everyone, another Destiel fanfiction from me. Hope you enjoy it and don't forget to leave your thoughts in reviews. Thank you for reading and have a great day


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